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  • Writer's pictureElizabeth Taddiken

Transformation and The Dark Night of the Soul

Have you ever felt like you were on the edge of a transformation, and the only thing holding you back was…you

…your fear of letting go?

…your worry of the unfamiliarity?

…your concerns about potential failure?

You can actually feel the tug of war going on deep inside. You know change is coming, it’s just a matter of when you will accept and flow with it.

What are all of these fears, and where do they come from? They seem to be protective, but in reality, they are not. In reality, they hold us back from our sense of peace, freedom, and being our best selves.

In reality, they are ego and ego does not want us to do anything against the status quo.

The Only Constant is Change

I’ve been there before, and I actually feel it coming around again these days. Change is life, to be alive is to be able to move with change. It’s not always easy. Especially when we are tied to our life, our idea of who we are, and what we do in our life and community. Often, we are so tied up with this sense of identity that we can scarcely see anything else. We become a part of a tribe, which can be wonderful in itself, but sometimes we lose sight of our true nature within that tribe.

Of course, there has been so much building up to this overwhelming sense of transformation over the past year of 2020. Within the chaos, there is a perfect vision when we step back and take a look at the big picture. There are major changes occurring within our human community which in turn affects our earth and the others we share it with. Our ability to come together, and possibly see the light and loving energy within each one of us, is more necessary than ever before.

What is a “Dark Night of the Soul”?

The Dark Night of the Soul has been likened to a “spiritual depression”. When everything you thought was your reality is suddenly turned upside down and in a sense no longer recognizable. Many people will go through this at least once or twice in their lives, others may never sense they’ve gone through anything like it. They may repress or suppress the signs/symptoms and continue with life as they know it. Some of the feelings are:

  • lack of flow; things are not coming together like they used to

  • there feels like a lack of meaning to life; also could be considered an existential crisis

  • Low mood or actual feeling of depression seems to dominate more often.

  • Feelings of confusion when you are doing the same things you always have, but all of a sudden something is missing

  • Sense of belonging seems to be threatened

These are some of the feelings that arise when a sense of awakening to change is occurring, yet it’s not quite understood. Transformation is on the edge, and many of us still want to hold on to the familiar even when it is not working for us.


Transformation is defined as “A complete change in the appearance or character of someone or something, especially so that the thing or person has improved.” Do you recall your last transformation? Usually, we all have turning points throughout our formative and teen years into our 20’s. However, after that, there is often a push to find a spot and stay there, no matter what. We might achieve raises or promotions in the company we work for, and these are wonderful and often perfect for many. However, for others, the creeping thoughts of “What am I doing here?!” will start to become consistent and nagging. It is good to listen to your intuition at this time.

This is usually the ringing bell of transformation. It’s usually time to dig deep and seek into your present situation. Have you checked all the boxes of your health and happiness to ensure you are making the most of this wonderful life? Sometimes the transformation doesn’t even have to be huge! It may be adjusting your schedule so that you find more time to spend with your family. More time to exercise. More time to create! Other times, it may have to be huge. A move to a new state, or country. A whole new career. A new relationship.

Make time to think about what it is you are missing. It may surprise you that it doesn’t have anything to do with the people in your life, but rather that you need to set better boundaries. Your transformation may be a number of stepping stones that you apply each year towards a larger goal. Each step is a transforming experience in itself.

The Journey

Whether you are making a big change or starting out small with a number of steps, remember to be kind to yourself as you walk this new path. You took a leap of faith, it took courage to do that. Keep thoughts and words balanced with yourself. We are all on a journey in this life. Every single day is an opportunity to adjust that path. The journey and all of our interactions become our sadness, happiness, joy, and wonder in this lifetime. Strive to take each step with intention, but if you don’t always do so, enjoy the trail.

“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Happy Winter Solstice! Wishing a renewed energy to you all with abundant spiritual, physical, and mental peace and wellness.

Love and Peace,

Dr. Taddiken

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